Patron: My wife says I don’t do enough around the house. I’m tired after work and on the weekend I just want to sit around. Barkeep: If the shoe fits then you must wear it. ...
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. Those who liv...
The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this he whispered to the cowboy, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat....
As an administrator of various social media windows I am barraged by email and messages regarding some of our posted material. At some of our venues we have professional photographers on busy nights t...
A guy decides to take off work early from work and go drinking. He stays in the bar until it closes at 2 in the morning, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he gets back to his house, he doesn...
A man walks into a bar – bar joke A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the bartender asks for their order. The man says, “I’ll have a beer” and...
Tickle Me Elmo: There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and sh...
Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first said, “I built a big house for o...
A man went up to the barman and ordered a drink. With his drink, the barman gave him a bowl of peanuts, and from the bowl of peanuts the man heard a voice say, “I think you look great.” Bu...
Often the best things in life are discovered by accident or come to us in an indirect method. The universally known cocktail the Gin and Tonic had its origins in the malarial jungles of India and ...