The Toughest Nut to Crack

Every new customer that crosses the threshold and enters the bar is a potential new customer and repeat patron – a good barkeep works hard to grab these patrons.


Yesterday a guy walked in literally five minutes after I had opened.  He must have been waiting in the parking lot.  He walked around the entire venue, analyzing all our offerings. He perused our menus and made inquiries as to our specials.  I politely answered all his questions in fine detail.  I asked if wanted to partake of a beverage and he said he was not thirsty, I asked if wanted something to eat or maybe even a pool table to play on.  He said he was new in town and looking for somewhere to hang out.  I asked if he played pool; he did not.  That opened a floodgate of commentary.  He regaled me for ten minutes on how he was tee-totaller, non-pool playing, and did not like fast-food.  What could I offer this customer?  Coffee made him edgy.  Tea was horrible.  Soft drinks upset his stomach.  Did he like to talk sports?   Nope.  How about politics?  Not a chance.  Did he read book? Not since high school.  How about work?  Unemployed for six months.  I asked him what he used to do for employment.  He was a Forest Ranger in Northern Ontario. Finally a door had opened.  I asked about wildlife; he didn’t really care.  Forest denudation came to mind but was not a treehugger either.  I aksed how long he had been a ranger and he responded two months.  Before that he had been an airport baggage handler in the far Arctic.   I had no chance with this guy.  He got up to leave and promised to be back soon.  I can’t wait I have to read up on baggage codes……

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